how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
