hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
