Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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