is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Let's get the cat blown out
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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