is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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