pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Randomize
