Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
