If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
