Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
