Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
