I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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