I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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