i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
