...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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