Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He? As in you personified your dick?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
