I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
