Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I did not marry a roomba.
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