There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
