I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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