I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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