Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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