3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
