why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Randomize