I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
are you so shy because you have an std?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
