i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
