Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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