this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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