This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
