Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
