people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
