We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
