I need help removing her.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
