If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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