Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
