the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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