it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
