I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
