nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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