do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
