I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
