D3 body, D1 cock
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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