I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
