just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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