Whod you bang
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
