Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
