FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
