Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
