I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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