yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
