He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
COCAINE IS GR8
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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